Tone policing through accusations of ‘unsafe’

At EdSurge, school principal Damen Scott shares that a subordinate recently told him that his tone made them feel “psychologically unsafe.” While I appreciate Scott being able to thoughtfully consider and act upon criticism, I’d be worried about accusations such as this being misused as tone policing. One more social landmine to worry about as a neurodivergent individual. Is my tone socially palatable? Am I doing it right, or will someone accuse me of making them feel “unsafe”?

https://www.edsurge.com/news/2024-03-20-as-a-principal-i-thought-i-promoted-psychological-safety-then-a-colleague-spoke-up

At CDC: ban on words, or rhetorical technique?

There are “no banned words” at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, according to a series of Tweets by CDC director Dr. Brenda Fitzgerald.

During emergencies: Information is essential

Image credit: Nixle

During the past two weeks, I’ve faced an ongoing need for up-to-date and credible information about the California fires. Compounding this issue, I haven’t always been in places that had access to the Internet.

Inbound Certification from Hubspot Academy

My attraction to the strategies of inbound and content marketing — of nurturing potential customers by creating interesting content instead of forcibly intruding on their time — led me to pursue Inbound Certification from HubSpot Academy.

‘Culture fit’: Excuse to discriminate?

Are candidates treated fairly during screenings for ‘culture fit’?

Sponsored posts promoting a guide with behavioral interview questions keep showing up in my Facebook timeline.

These 30 questions are supposed to screen job applicants for various traits — including leadership and adaptability — but “culture fit” receives top emphasis in the sponsored-post advertisement.

Safety pins in solidarity: Is message clear enough?

In school, we teach children about bystanders’ power to defuse the impact of bullying by supporting the child who is targeted — which makes it all the more wonderful that adults are embracing the vital role of “upstander.”

By wearing a safety pin, the wearer communicates that she or he is “safe,” an ally in solidarity with people targeted by hate. My only concern as a person who struggles with messages that are implied, not explicit — will people who need support understand what the safety pin signifies?

Autism and socializing: ‘Armond Goes to a Party’

There is little-to-nothing pleasant about the prospect of being stuck in a roomful of people simultaneously talking around me.

These numerous conversations — for me all playing at equal volume — are further compounded by  the “soundtrack of life” — air conditioning or heater, utensils clanking against dishes, the movement of people through a room.

NPR dropping comments from website

Effective Aug. 23, National Public Radio (NPR) is removing the “Comment” function from stories on its website.

‘Intrusive’ vs. ‘inbound’ contact

Via my social newsfeed this morning, a declaration by Andy Mort that telephone calls are, quite possibly, the most intrusive form of contact.

Bullying: Arguments promote information literacy

In Matters of Opinion: Bullying (Norwood House Press, 2016), Carla Mooney presents pro and con arguments for three issues connected with bullying:

“Has the Internet Made Bullying Worse?”, “Are Schools Doing Enough to Stop Bullying?” and “Should Bullying Be a Criminal Offense?”

This brief volume encourages students to critically examine arguments, focused around a topic that bears direct relevance to their school-going experience.

Color communication: Go, slow or stop

Image credit: Autistic Self Advocacy Network

Initiating conversations and controlling whether or not strangers approach you at a public gathering: Color Communication Badges address these sources of social anxiety. Green, yellow and red cards are available as a set from the Autistic Self Advocacy Network.

Body language sends subtle messages

In an online forum, a classmate raises a point about the importance of body language, especially its subliminal messaging.

Preference-based communication: Why does my phone still ring?

Why do marketers and, for that matter, customer service representatives, ignore preference-based communication when interacting with customers? From 2009, a question raised by Howorth Communications continues to have relevance.

Just say no, Adam Bryant, to scary face-vibe

Adam Bryant on LinkedIn

I have mixed feelings about a post by Adam Bryant on LinkedIn about nonverbal cues. A subordinate asked Bryant, “Are you mad at me,” reaching this conclusion based upon something he or she had read in Bryant’s face.

From the incident, Bryant said he learned “a memorable lesson that day about how people can read so much into subtle, and often unintended, cues. From that moment on, I found myself making much more of an effort to be aware of my body language, particularly with the team of reporters I was leading, and to always show energy, confidence and optimism, even if I was on a tight deadline and wrestling with a difficult problem.”

I think Bryant is correct that people will look to a leader for guidance and watch his or her every move. And being aware of the impression you are making is certainly good advice.

I have severe misgivings, however, about “picking a face” and then consistently displaying that same face all the time.

I have a difficult enough time interpreting nonverbal cues from facial expressions and body language without their being compounded by an unnaturally blank expression or one that appears not to quite fit with what’s going on. A furrowed brow is less ambiguous even if my conclusion is wrong.

Your carefully neutral expression will more likely give off the scary face-vibe and then I’ll really wonder if you’re angry at me.

I was directed to Bryant’s post via a blog entry by Steve Buttry.

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

I was accompanied on my bus commute in late November/early December by The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh (Ballantine Books, 2012).

The book grabbed my attention with a dramatic opening in which the story’s narrator is on the verge of emancipating from the foster care system. The story alternates between present-day and the narrator’s experience growing up through foster care.

While growing up, Victoria Jones, the narrator, is introduced to the hidden meanings that are assigned to flowers. Her flower selections leave coded messages that are often known only to her.

Upon reaching adulthood, her ability with flowers provides her with the means to earn a livelihood. It also serves as the primary way in which she connects with people.

Voices must speak to be heard

In the spring 2012 issue of Yes! Magazine, Joseph Torres urges support for independent media as part of the issue’s “9 Strategies to End Corporate Rule.”