‘Asshole Survival Guide’ by Robert I. Sutton

Regular readers will know that I place ongoing importance upon the subject of bullying, which is not merely confined to childhood. Adults can be the targets and perpetrators too.

Since writing his book about “building civilized workplaces,” The No Asshole Rule, author Robert I. Sutton was besieged with questions by readers about what they should do to deal with abusive people at work. In The Asshole Survival Guide (Houghton Mifflin, September 2017), Sutton shares strategies and tips that he developed over the years.

Sutton cautions readers that there is no one strategy that will work for every type of jerk, nor easy and instant relief; his intention is for readers to decide for themselves, “which survival tricks and moves are best for navigating the particular ugliness you face.”

‘From Bully to Bull’s Eye’ by Andrew Faas

Many people, according to Andrew Faas, relate the word “bullying” to what happens in schools; they don’t associate workplace behaviors with bullying until, Faas says, he describes the dynamics of bullying with words like “abuse,” “coercion,” “exploitation,” “extortion,” “harassment,” and “threats.”

In From Bully to Bull’s Eye (RCJ Press, 2016), Faas argues that workplace bullying extends beyond an incident or conflict between a bully and target at work. According to Faas, “entire workplace cultures in many organizations are built on foundational principles that guarantee a toxic environment for all, not just a few select victims of particularly vitriolic harassment.”

‘Beating the Workplace Bully’

My interest in strategies to combat bullying — from being a survivor in childhood — led me to Beating the Workplace Bully by Lynne Curry (AMACOM Books, Jan. 13, 2016).

Drawing upon her experience as a workplace coach as well as past experience as a target, Curry identifies seven workplace bully types, their motivations and mindset. She also addresses strategies for dealing with each bully type.

The dynamics between bully and target that are addressed in this book include supervisor to subordinate, subordinate to supervisor and bullying between workplace colleagues.

Trolling: ‘part of the job’ for women in online media?

For The Mary Sue, Jill Pantozzi raises a valid question: “Is Dealing With Vicious Internet Trolls ‘Just Part of the Job’ For Women In Online Media?” She links to a piece in which “Jezebel Staff” describe the placing of violent pornographic images in the discussion section of their articles.

Although Jezebel staffers can manually dismiss comments and ban offensive commentators, “Literally nothing” stops abusive posters from signing up for another untraceable account and posting more abusive images. “It’s like playing whack-a-mole with a sociopathic Hydra.”

American Library Association prohibits harassment

On the website for its Midwinter Meeting and Exhibits in January 2014, the American Library Association displays a Statement of Appropriate Conduct at ALA Conferences.

As a survivor of childhood peer abuse who frequently blogs about bullying, I applaud the ALA for adopting an anti-harassment policy. And while it’s not a perfect document, I disagree with Will Manley, an American Libraries columnist who argued on his blog that the policy could “have a chilling effect on intellectual freedom.”

John Scalzi makes harassment policy a condition of convention appearances

John Scalzi

Thank you to writer John Scalzi, who makes it a condition of Guest of Honor engagements that conventions have a harassment policy that clearly defines unacceptable behavior and where to go for help or action.

As explained by Scalzi, “When my friends and fans go to conventions, I would like them not to have to worry, if they are skeeved on by some creep at the convention, that the convention will take the problem seriously. I would also like them to be able to know how to report the problem, should such a situation occur.”

Lisa Khoury’s ‘Internet drubbing’: comment platform created hostile environment

Lisa Khoury

At PBS: MediaShift, Dan Reimold shares six lessons from the “Internet drubbing” of college journalism student Lisa Khoury. In February 2012, Khoury authored a counterpoint opinion opposing tattoos for The Spectrum student newspaper.

Khoury’s commentary appeared in print adjacent to the companion “pro” piece but was posted by itself online.

A year later, Khoury and Spectrum editor-in-chief Matthew Parrino said they learned six lessons from “the viral hate they faced and the steps they took to cope with and counter it.”

Do businesses’ weak policies invite bullying?

Image by Baron Christopher Hanson

Writing at the SmartBlog on Leadership, Baron Christopher Hanson argues that “the perceived weaknesses of a business, combined with desperate customers and evadable transaction policies, may actually entice bully customers.”

Hanson makes an important distinction between “high-expectation” customers who, “[a]lthough challenging ... are usually honest, civil and pay well for exceptional value or treatment,” and bullying customers, who are “usually dishonest, uncivil, verbally abusive and do not pay well.”

According to Hanson, the latter’s tactics “border on scam artistry.”

Hanson’s essay is of great interest to me as a survivor of bullying. I agree with Hanson that businesses should enforce clear policies but am not sure that all instances of bullying by customers can be attributed to perceived weaknesses in the target. This comes rather closer to victim-blaming than I feel comfortable with.

From time to time while working at a northern California newspaper, I encountered people who were textbook models for how not to behave with the media: They demanded free papers and behaved as though their announcements were more important than other submissions. The problems in these cases were not evadable policies or perceived weaknesses in the company; instead these people expected themselves to be exempt from rules that everyone else had to follow.

Hanson’s premise is worth thinking about when examining company policies, with the caveat that strict enforcement won’t stop people being mean. But hopefully if a business doesn’t cave to their bullying, these mean people will go away.

Online comments should be tied to known accounts

The subject of #DFMChat this week among Digital First Media journalists was improving conversations on social media. Specifically, it addressed trolling or online bullying.

Bill Keller writes, in “The Bullying Pulpit,” his piece for the New York Times, that anonymity is license to be vicious. Chat moderator Ivan Lajara shared a link to Keller’s commentary as an introduction to the subject.

I offered a suggestion in response to a question of how to deal with online bullying:

Comment platform hosts should insist that posting ability be tied to an identified account. The host can then actively block abusive users from being able to persist in online bullying.

How not to behave with the media

It’s a sadly pathetic sign of the times that people won’t buy a newspaper that has just publicized their group or event; they expect us to give them the paper for free.