‘Platinum Rule’ requires perspective-taking

I’ve been thinking about the “Platinum Rule,” ever since a religious educator wrote about it on her blog.

The “Golden Rule,” of course, is “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” But at The Children’s Chalice, writer DRESara identified a flaw in the Golden Rule, which is that it “still presumes that I can use myself as the measuring stick for ‘normal.’” She advocated that instead, people observe the “Platinum Rule,” to “Treat others the way they would like to be treated.”

DRESara said that “the trick, however,” is that a person needs to know how to ask other people what they want — and therein lies my concern.

The Platinum Rule relies upon an ability with perspective-taking that in me is under-developed or impaired. It doesn’t always occur to me, when a situation is happening, that now might be the time to ask another person if or how I can help.

The processing comes later and with it, the concern that maybe I should have offered my assistance.

My greatest concern is in regard to people who don’t already know me well. Do they now think badly of me because I failed to extend the offer?

I hope that people who do know me well, realize that I’m a caring individual. I will willingly help you when you need it, to the best of my ability — I’m just not always able to determine that you need help, without it being explicitly communicated.